Saturday, October 12, 2013

Hodgepodge

I wasn't supposed to make it, but I did.

The odds were against me...  I was insane, inane and I pounded the pavement with angst on my shoes, my eyes obfuscated by my dreams, bewitching nightmares based on cocaine and drug addicted fiends befriending me every which way and that and then some.

Of course I chased.  My mind wanted and fought and sought to obtain more and everything bad to prove to myself

that I could,

that I could,

that I could,

that I wasn't scared, that I wasn't afraid, that I was a badass--tough and nasty and mean.  I became a cockroach because of it, making nice to to scum and the like because I thought that was cool, that was the way to go, coke-whoring my way through North Beach --pretending of course--  aye, sigh.

But I'm grateful to be where I am today, who I am today.  No bonds, no chains to hold me back, addicted no more to a gangsta rapist who drugged me with his "love" and murdered me with his soul slashing me to pieces so that when I left, I collapsed in a mound on the sidewalk while people walked around me gaping, pointing, staring.

Nope!  Now I am whole, loving, a creature of modest means, of high hopes and bigger dreams.  Pouring out light as best as I can through this vessel of fractured beauty and momentous delight.  Thrilled to be laughing, singing my way through this thing called life, haunted no more by heinous crimes and twisted lies inflicted upon the soul, the heart and everywhere else.

Now, Jesus fills me top to bottom, yes siree Bob, and I can say that life, in all its raw beauty, sings an eternal heart song now wrenching, now glad that I can live with.  Finally, everything makes sense.  Through His eyes, I can see, I am no longer blind but free.  Now I can dance with arms wide open head tossed back to the wind with a song in my soul that I can sing.

What more can I say?  What more can I do?  This piece has turned into a rhyme for you...  I hope you like, I hope you enjoy and turn to Him, the height of all joy.

2 comments:

  1. Ciao carissima,
    thank you for sharing and inviting me to your blogspot. What a good writer you are... I've seen and said it before, but it bears repeating.
    I am glad you are on such a good place now -- it's inspiring!
    So grateful we are friends.
    Bacioni!
    Jodina

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gracias, mia cara. And cheers to you!

    ReplyDelete